Yes I know, it's been a long time coming.
Truth is, writing is not my "first love" so this has been coming together in pieces for a while.
Other truth is, can't do a blog without pics and wanted the "good ones" so had to wait for the photographer to deliver...and that he did (hey Gari!!)
So onto the goodness...
The planner turned the bride and everyone wanted to know: "you planned your own wedding?"...
Me: YES!!! When your vendor team is strong that's easy to do. I didn't do my own coordination on the day though! (have to practice what I preach!)
When I talk to my clients about certain things, they will always say: easier said than done but I will try". Now that I have done, I can confirm and testify to these five things I learned (and in some cases reconfirmed).
1. Decide with your fiancé what you BOTH want the day to be like and STICK with it! Ensure the wedding is a reflection of both your personalities
My husband and I spoke about what we wanted individually and sought to find the common areas that we needed to ensure happened.
We both wanted small, intimate and personal.
We both wanted destination, near the sea.
We both wanted a relaxed setting with a really good party!
We're simple by nature so there was no other way for this wedding to be set up, than just that, personal and simple.
(In case you're wondering how we pulled off small and intimate)
Small and intimate meant there would be persons we were not able to invite andddd some not be "happy" about it. It's something we were ok with. *cue what's important to us*. We appreciated those who understood...and smiled at those who didn't.
2. Have a budget and stick to it!
We both determined what we were willing to spend on the day. The truth is, all the ideas are great, but the budget brings you back to reality. If you have the option to spend exactly as you dream; hey! by all means do. If it's "not that serious" then don't! Set a limit you're comfortable with and work with it. Whilst we know the help would have come, we didn't "depend on it". We wanted the figure to be one that we could have covered if no one offered to help! Help would just mean "savings" 😉.
We prioritised where the money needed to be spent first and then looked at where sacrifices could have been made. Hint: please do not sacrifice things that are about you i.e. photography, videography, honeymoon. These are your memories after everything is over! Manage. The. Budget. We monitored, and devised a plan as to how the payments will be made and stuck with it!
(I talk about this ALL the time on my page, so thought it right that I share how I dealt with it)
3. Make your plans "sound" proof and lay low!
Reduce the "noise" around you whilst planning. The opinions. The views. The talk. We were planning very quietly for a while. Did we get the question: "so when is the wedding?" Of course! The response: "soon enough! *smile*"
The bonus was that we're also both private people, so that response would not be out of the ordinary. Few close to us knew what was going on but they maintained our desire to lay low. Yes, you need the support, but chose wisely and limit it.
By the time "word got out", plans were confirmed and in place so there was little or no room for extra views and opinions. We got offered (and accepted) support from our parents and loved ones and continued on with the final planning.
There's nothing wrong with respectfully standing your ground on this.
4. Keep calm when things SEEM to not be going the way you planned!
My dress and my sandals (yes I wore sandals..I did say I was simple 😊) were both custom made. A month before the wedding my dress was not the way it was suppose to be, 5 nights before the wedding my sandals weren't in hand, not even in the country. The night before the wedding my caterers got stuck in Trinidad getting over to Tobago. All recipes to panic...but I didn't.
Do you know Murphy? He shows up in the most opportune times to try to flex his muscles. But he seems to forget that I know God so I trusted that everything/something will happen. My family and friends (in different situations) joked and said "hey, we will send for Pizza and KFC, don't worry, we good! You're here, he's here and we're here, that's most important!" It just meant that it was not the most important thing and they reminded me to not worry about it.
I had my dress in hand, the way I wanted (for the most part) and I was now prepared to be a barefoot bride 😂. Thankfully I didn't have to be.
As for my food & bar...nothing short of God happened and they all made it.
Which brings me to:
5. Surround yourself with "good vibes" and "good energy"...
...during the planning process but more so on those few days before the wedding and then on the day. From your MUA to your photographer to the people you may chose to have in the room with you whilst you get dressed!
If you follow me on social media you will know I always talk about "the vibe" you have/get with your vendors. It's extremely important and helps channel the good energy you need on the day. Those around me kept me in good, happy, positive spirit. They ensured I didn't slip into "work mode" so I could enjoy my day - and I love them for that. I didn't have bridesmaids but some of my best girls were there with me the same way! As for my vendor team - no words! They were ALL persons I had a good rapport with and that's why I chose them.
Be all about your "good vibe"!
Bonus: Ensure you have a REALLlllY good time!
You should be able to look back at pictures, videos and hear stories and smile and laugh each time, and feel like it happened just yesterday. It should be something you want to experience again and again! We. Had. A. Blast. (And so did everyone else..they're already asking us to do it again!..😂). And that's what it should be about...